O’Donnell, the Post Modern

Well, WaPo has weighed in, and I guess it’s now official that Christine O’Donnell, the Republican Senate candidate for Delaware, has falsely claimed to have attended Oxford and lied about having done so. What disturbs me here is not that she lied about having written it or having lied by so writing it. No, the disturbing thing is that she evidently thought that having a “certificate” in “Post Modernism in the New Millennium” would impress somebody she hoped to impress. It would be tempting to try to get inside that mind to find out who she thought would be impressed by her certified knowledge of the 21st century’s take on Post Modernism. Was she trying to get a job at a community college? A job, say, in the advertising department? Tempting though it may be, it’s just too dangerous to go there. After all, look at what that mind is capable of producing on her Zoominfo page:

“A devout Catholic, Christine combined her faith with her God given talent working as an independent marketing consultant on Mel Gibson’s breakthrough film The Passion of the Christ. In addition to developing the pre-release marketing campaign and advanced ticketing program, Christine was also the marketing and media director of the book tour for Inside the Passion, the critically acclaimed best seller offering a behind the scenes look at the making of the film.”

You may perhaps cringe a little at someone who announces her own God-given talent. Or perhaps you’re a bit skeptical that God actually is responsible for someone’s marketing prowess, which, as we’ve seen with Christine, is pretty close to the ability to lie profusely and ineptly. No, neither of those is what I meant. What I refer to is the number of gerunds in those two sentences. Perhaps only Cicero could pack more verbal noun phrases into meaningless sentences. And I think Christine would be happy at any comparison between herself and Cicero. (They study Cicero at Oxford too.)

But all of this would hardly be important enough to write about if it weren’t for something on Christine’s Zoominfo page. Evidently there’s a Christine O’Donnell who has some association with Temple Sinai in Atlanta where it “provides ongoing opportunities to experience our rich Jewish heritage. Through prayer, study, personal and community connection and work, we find a…” And there it cuts off. You immediately want to find out whether this is a mistake. Surely even in Georgia they don’t think everyone who isn’t Southern Baptist is a Jew, do they? So you take the bait, and click on Christine O’Donnell and lo and behold! you have to find the information from Intelius. For a fee you can not only find why Ms O’Donnell is associated with a synagogue in the middle of the Bible Belt, but also her criminal background and credit history. It seems like a good offer, right? And you get to look up 19 other people in the course of the year too.

Don’t do it, my friend. I tried it once. You are up late and say, What the heck, lemme just see if he has any DUI charges against him; it isn’t that much money. And you pay the money and you are sent throw this loop of registration and questions and go here, there, comeback, etc., and there’s no information. It’s almost as convoluted as trying to obtain the free registration offered by Science Magazine’s website for past articles. The difference is Intelius has your $25 and you will never see it, no matter how much you realize you didn’t really need to know if he had a DUI or not. At Science they are just laughing at you for thinking they are going to give you anything for free.

So what have we learned? I think it’s fair to say: 1. Don’t ever give money to an online service that claims to look up DUIs. 2. Never read a blog post about Christine O’Donnell. There isn’t the slightest chance it will make you smarter. 3. People who claim (falsely or not) to have obtained a certificate from the University of Oxford in Post Modernism in the New Millennium probably should not also go around proclaiming their God-given ability in marketing or anything else.

  1. Great stuff, I posted this through our Facebook. It is funny how easy fo a target she is now that she is really in the lime light. We have a similar article you may enjoy, http://www.notthatitmatters.org

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